things to do instead of murdering your dog/kid/friend/lover

▽  Get out of the house and go for a walk. Optional: Take a packed bag with you. Keep walking. Never look back.

▽  Lock yourself in your room. Jump on your bed. Scream.

▽  Find something unimportant but flammable. Old grocery lists. Receipts for stuff you'll never return. Paper bags. Junk mail. Ok, now set it all on fire in a safe yet satisfying manner.

▽  Play some music really, really loudly. Preferably music about murdering. Rock stars can go to jail. Not you.

▽  Take a shower. A super long shower. Then take a bath. Then take a shower again. And then maybe a bath. Then dry out the tub and sleep in it. You live in the bathroom now.

Confession: I have checked all these boxes today. And have refrained from murdering anything.